My Encounter with a Needy Person
Posted by Bob Johnson on July 21, 2008
I was coming out of the cell phone store with my daughter when he appeared. My daughter had bought a new cell phone over the internet and wanted to change it’s phone number to her old number. The guy on the internet had said, “No problemo. Just take it to the nearest (name brand) retail store and they can do it for you.” So we visited the nearest store and it had not gone well. We waited an hour, talked to three different service representatives, only to be told it couldn’t be done. So needless to say, I was NOT in a good mood when he appeared.(What was it Wayne Watson said in yesterday’s worship service about singing joyfully all the time?? This was not one of those times!)
As we were getting in the car, I was complaining in my foul mood about how service has gone out the window nowadays and how the left hand (the web business) and the right hand (the retail store) don’t talk to each other. At that moment, I became aware of a car that had pulled up behind us. The guy shouted over, “Do you live around here?” I thought he was needing directions. “Not really. I live further west. But what do you need?” I figured I could use my limited knowledge of the neighborhood to help him out. As I spoke, I noticed the guy’s car was pretty beat up and he looked sort of beat up as well. “I live out in _________,” he said, “and my car is just about on empty. I need some money for gas.” So before I knew it, my coming to his aid to give directions became his request for money. What should I do? If I gave him the money, would he buy alcohol and thereby my gift would “do harm?” Or did he really need the money for gas in which case my gift would “do good?” I hate these situations because I never know what is right.
I was very aware that my daughter was watching my response to this situation. She’s no stranger to it herself. Having lived a semester in Leeds, England, where it is illegal to be homeless, she was asked for help many times. But still, I was conscious that this wasn’t just about me and the guy in the car. She was watching.
Whenever this happens to me, and it happens a lot in Houston, my experience with Leroy about 25 years ago comes to mind. My wife and I were visiting San Antonio for one last fling as a married couple before our first child was born. Susan was about 7 or 8 months pregnant. We were walking from our hotel to the boardwalk for a nice Mexican dinner. All of a sudden, there was this homeless guy standing in front of us. He introduced himself as Leroy. He carried a big duffle bag and said he just rode in on the train and hadn’t eaten in a week. He looked, and smelled, like he was telling the truth! He asked for money for food. Having just the day before heard a sermon about this very situation, instead of giving Leroy the money he asked for, I invited him to dinner with us. Never in a million years did I think he would actually accept my invitation. But he did.
So into the Mexican restaurant strolls Leroy and his duffle bag and us. Boy, the looks we got! He asked if he could say the prayer when the food came. It was a long and gratitude-filled prayer, as I recall. It was while we waited for the food that I realized Leroy’s elevator didn’t go to the top floor! He told us how he was a Secret Service agent and stuff like that. But when the food came, he wolfed it down. He really was hungry. After dinner, he enjoyed a cup of coffee. I wondered how we would take leave of Leroy…! Would he follow us to our hotel? I became concerned for our safety. With Susan so pregnant, a hasty retreat was not possible. So we ordered Leroy another cup of coffee and excused ourselves to pay the bill. After we did, we hightailed it out of there! The last I ever saw Leroy, he was sitting back royally in his chair, delightfully sipping his second cup of coffee.
About two days later, as I was entering a restaurant for dinner, another homeless man asked me for money. I gave it to him! And I gave some money to the guy in the car at the cell phone store. I always struggle to know what to do, but I figure I can’t go too far wrong if I try to help someone. What do you do?
Fred said
Bob,
For a number of years (and I’m not proud of this) my standard operating procedure to the homeless who were looking for handouts was to simply ignore them and walk on by. Because I continue to grow in my relationship with Jesus Christ, I’ve totally changed my approach. I now ask the individual for his/her name. Almost 100% of the time they will tell you their complete name; e.g., John William Doe. I then ask them how their relationship with Jesus is. So far, my experience has been that they will tell you where they are, good and bad. I then ask them how I can pray for them when I have my nightly prayer time. Most of the time the prayer list is not extensive but it is on target. I will then give them some money. I tell them that they can obviously spend it on what they want, but the decision for its use is between Jesus and them. I then suggest the money might be used to alleviate some of the stress contained in their prayer request.
Not as dramatic as your story about Leroy, but a shock to me nonetheless, is a time I used this approach in a grocery store parking lot late one night. “Robert” approached me looking for bus fare to a homeless shelter. When I ultimately asked him how I could pray for him, he told me, then held my hand waiting for me to pray for him right then and there in the parking lot. I have to tell you that one of the things runnning through my mind was, “what if a neighbor sees me standing here holding another man’s hand?”
Fred
Neal Robinson said
Hi Bob!
I just found your blog site on Radically Altered. I have always enjoyed your messages at Chapelwood. I especially remember the sermon on the great reversal and the director’s cut on the Christmas story. I minister to street people on the weekends and I have been doing so for 2 1/2 years now. PB&J’s, water, oranges, prayer, and fellowship are what I take with me. I give money when the Spirit tells me to. I have found that the gift most appreciated is the human contact. To ask their name, and remember it if possible (my challenge), and look them in the eye affirms them as a brother or sister. They live in a ether world where they are mostly ignored or despised. For every 100 people that I meet out there there are 100 different stories of circumstance. I used to judge easily. I can’t do that anymore. Lord, let me just love and give and let You sort out the rest.
Gentle Blessings,
Neal